My son just turned 4 and off-late he made me realize that I have been one nagging mom. When he started crawling, all I would tell him is, “Don’t go there. Don’t touch that. Don’t lean on that. You will hurt yourself.” When he started walking, I would always run after him yelling “Go slow. Don’t run. Hold my hands while walking on the road. Don’t leave my finger and run in the middle of the road. Some car might crash into you.” All scared I used to explain the consequences too believing the 1.5-year-old would understand the gravity of the situation. #FacePalm
When he entered the terrible two’s, my days started with, “Beta khalo” and they ended on the same note, “Beta kuch toh kha lo.” I am glad I am over with the terrible two’s. My son’s tantrums were at their peak then and all day long, I just kept shouting at him or running after him and he would just have 1 answer “NO”.
After 3 years of age, the horizons broadened and now we have varied topics to fight for. Every day we have a new tiff. If I say, “No youtube.” He runs to his grandparent’s room with a swollen face. If I say, “No more chocolates. You already had 1.” He lays on the floor throwing legs in the air. Waking up when he wants to sleep 10 more minutes before going to school. Drying him up when he wants to play in the bathtub. Finishing up milk before the van honks. Getting ready for the dance class in the evening. Disagreements over junk food, chocolates and TV time. Clashes for buying toys in a mall. I am the only one who is on the supposedly wrong side of the squabble and no wonder it has made me one devil mom for him.
Over the years, my son is becoming more and more expressive and it has started pinching me to the core. Now all the fights end up with one sentence, “I hate you and I don’t want to see you. I am going to my granny.” And he rushes to the room, sobbing. My heart aches to hear those words. It melts down and I feel like giving up on all the discipline. After all, “To heck with the ideal life. If my son grows up to hate me then there is no point having this life at all.” I was compelled to ponder if I am only a No parent. Should I become a yes parent?
On one of those gloomy days, when my son just hated me for not buying him the 2nd lickable of the day, my mother-in-law called him and said, “This mumma doesn’t fulfill your wishes, so let her go. We will bring you a new mumma.”
“Bus yeh din hi dekhna baaki tha.”, I murmured to myself. But she had barely finished the sentence, when my son pounced on me and hugged me tight, “No I love her and I cannot think of a second without her. You keep the new mumma. This mumma is mine and only mine.”
“But u hate her na?”, my MIL reinstated.
“Whatever… I love her and I will love her always. She is the best”
My eyes welled up at his words. My insecurities for my son faded away. He made me believe that come may whatever, a mother-son relationship can never go for a toss. He made me believe that in spite of all the discipline, I am doing something right that he loves me unconditionally. He made me believe that no matter how much we fight, we will always love each other. He made me believe that words are temporary but the bond we share is eternal.
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