Parenting Woman In Me

When I Found a Mother in Him


When my mother found a perfect match for me, she suddenly transformed into the dramatic version of Mother India, engulfed in the fear of separation. Suddenly I started hearing dialogues like –“Ab toh tu chali hi jayegi…blah…blah..” and I never understood its context. I had been away from home for more than 6 years and visited her just twice or thrice a year. But after being married in the same city, I would visit her often. Then why was my mom so anxious?

Nevertheless, I was unstirred by the series of events leading to marriage. The feeling sank in only when I left with my hubby and sis-in-law from the shaadi ka mandap. In the new home, I felt like a UFO who is to be scrutinized thoroughly from all possible angles. Well, this was not the 1st time that I went to a new place all alone and neither was this the 1st time that I was sitting amongst all strangers. Also, I had addressed larger gatherings and stood confidently before them but this was definitely different. Possibly because I knew that somewhere from the corner of the eyes everybody was observing me, my gestures and postures. In short, everything verbal and non-verbal. In a house full of relatives, old and young, I was at an absolute loss of my world. I wanted to talk to my mom to gain some confidence but I had to cross a swarm of relatives before reaching out to my bag and making a call. Amidst all the confusion, my superman slipped his phone in my hand without anyone else noticing and I see my mom was already on-hold. Wow!! How did he know that without even me telling him?

Few hours later, I got rashes all over my arms from the fancy bangles I wore for the wedding. My hubby stood against all the relatives from old-school of thoughts and excused me from wearing a single bangle from day 1.

It doesn’t end there. I am more unladylike than anyone would have thought. I didn’t know how to cook even dal, roti and my husband assured me saying that “Don’t worry! We will hire a cook.” It sounded perfect to me but destiny had some other plans. First I was pushed in the battlefield called kitchen and had to fight with the wok and utensils to cook halwa all alone. While I was still figuring out, from where to start, my phone beeped and my hubby messaged the recipe on whatsapp but forgot to mention the quantity. The kitchen gave me such collywobbles that I simply forgot to use the youtube. I somehow made halwa but it turned out to be less sweet. My sweet husband took all the blame on himself and said – “I only told her to keep it less sweet. We are so done eating sweets every day. “

We came back from our honeymoon at midnight and on the 1st morning ever in my new home, I woke up to Economic Times newspaper which my hubby had subscribed just for his MBA wife. He got a jar of Bournvita, just because his wife loves to have it in her milk with the breakfast. In the bathroom I found a close-up gel toothpaste just for me as opposed to the white paste my husband and his family had been doing all this while. Also came a surprise visit from my father-in-law who had to come down for some official work. I was in a fix because the cook wasn’t arranged and I didn’t know the cooking part yet. My FIL is from old school of thoughts and didn’t want his son to do the kitchen chores. So every 10 min my hubby excused himself from the room and joined me in the kitchen to quickly help me with the dinner. Post dinner we locked the room to have a night-out with the vegetables and chopper. My husband was chopping for next day’s meals and I was watching him in awe, thanking god and my mom to have found this perfect match for me.

Since then, till date everyday he calls me from office every 3 hours to inquire if I had breakfast, lunch, fruits and rest! Just like my mom did when I was in college. Now my husband took over that responsibility and called me up quite often.

For those initial days when every saas-bahu relationship goes through a teething phase, he stood like a rock solid bridge between both of us and helped us conceive and respect each other’s perception. He has done the perfect hand-holding from my mother to his mother.

For many it would sound very trivial and consider it as a part of his responsibility but I personally acknowledge all the small efforts he has put in to make me feel at home from day 1. He did everything small and big so that I don’t miss my mom and home. From a simple ‘hello’ he knows what mood I am talking in. Without explicitly expressing he knows about my desires and does everything possible to fulfill them. In the mandap he held my hands from my parents’ with a promise that he will take as much care of me as my mom ever did. And till date he lives by the promise he made to me on our 1st meeting ever – “Your wish is my command.” I, supposedly left my mom in shaadi ka mandap just to discover a new mom in him.

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