What matters – resemblance or identity?

I had a painful cesarean delivery and was bed ridden for almost a month. I couldn’t take my son in arms for almost 24 hours after his birth. I couldn’t even look at him to my heart’s content, when relatives started pouring in. One of their biggest obsession was “Whom does the baby resemble – mother or father?”.

His paternal relatives kept  mentioning that the baby looks just like his dad, while maternal relatives claimed that he looks like his mom. I was astonished at the memory of our near and dear ones,who markedly remembered how we, the parents looked as children even after a lapse of almost 30 years. Within hours of his birth, our whatsapp was flooded with numerous collages of our own childhood pictures with those of the baby. Various kinds of titles were given – ‘Then and now. Spot the difference etc etc..’ And  I was laying on the hospital bed, staring at the bare roof and wondering – ‘Whom does he actually resemble?’

My Dear Son,

It really doesn’t matter whether you resemble your dad and mom or not. I know that you have the same genetic code as us. Your face needn’t be a proof of our connection. I always want you to be you. I want you to take the best of both your worlds –  Mom and Dad, not just physical features but characters too. You should carve out your own identity in this world and create a niche for yourself. I want you to spread your wings and fly out of your nest, so high up in the sky that nobody can judge you on your physical attributes. Grow up into such a powerful person that the world can’t ignore you and into such a blissful person that the world can’t forget you.

With you…For you…


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  1. Jaya Jain says:


    1. anaishaa says:

      Thank you so much Jaya.

  2. anurag says:

    Great thoughts.Wonderfully expressed.

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