When Rashi and Manas came up with the theme 'Decade' for the first BlogHop of 2020, I started ruminating on the past decade. It was like an unknown distant relative bumping into me at a wedding and telling me, “You are so grown up now. 20 years back when I saw you, you were hopping around with 2 cute pigtails on your head.” Oh Yes, even I don’t recognize the Supriti that was a decade ago.
10 years back, during this time I was preparing for an inevitable question, “Where do u see yourself 10 years from now?” It solved the dual purpose of MBA entrance and B.Tech placements. While my mind gave all the gyan and jargon of developing strategies and contributing to industrial growth while enhancing managerial and leadership skills. blahh..blah...blahh... my heart had just one answer, “10 years from now I want to be free and happy."
"I want to be free from the worries of the right side of the menu in a restaurant.
I want to be free from the maddening frisking of the mannequins in the store to dig out the price tag.
I want to be free form the worries of my bank balance and travel the world like a free bird.
I want to be free and wish to party all night without the elders chasing me.
Mah lyf.. Mah rulezzz will be my mantra! ”
In short, I dreamt of everything fancy and kool a fresh graduate thinks of. Fantasizing about the future often transported me to another world with my soul flipping, twirling and dancing to the tunes of “Panchi banun udti phirun..”
And udte udte, a decade flew by. Today sitting on my desk, I wonder if I am anywhere close to the Gyan of my mind or the dreams of my heart? And, to be frank I am nowhere close.
In the early 30’s I am a work from home mom with a 4-year-old to take care of. My flabby tummy has changed the restaurant alarms from permutations and combinations of the prices to that of the calories.
The dresses adorning the mannequins don’t fit me anymore, so I have stopped paying heed to them. Angoor khatte hai (grapes are sour), you see! 😉 Swiping left-right and scrolling up down on the Big Fat Sale days works better for XXL n XXXL sizes.
And holidays? The very idea of packing and unpacking makes me so tired, that I have no energy or enthusiasm left for the actual vacation. Now I prefer my couch with nose dug into a book or eyes fixed on the tab.
People say that not just grey hair and retarding health, but such insane thoughts of salvation n 'sab moh maya hai' are also signs of aging. “Budhapa sir chadh chukka hai.” they exclaim.
But I chose to believe that I am turning wiser. The transition didn't happen overnight. Marriage, responsibilities, the vicious trap of expectations and deliveries, the ever-growing complexities of relationships, shortage of time with the dawn of motherhood and the constant war between heart and brain influenced this happy realization.
My mind always pushed me to lead the life perceived perfect by the peer and society but my heart always detested the idea of following the peer. A decade ago, when my mind overpowered everything else, I associated happiness and freedom to materialistic goals. Goals that were achieved subsequently but had turned trivial by then. Happiness was to try everything kool defined by the peer. Back then it was my heart living to the rules of my peer. 'Mah lyf..Mah rulez..' was just another buzz phrase..
But I realised its true meaning only after listening to my heart by quitting my 7 digit package to take care of my son. And since then there has been no looking back. I felt liberated like never before. I took up the long lost hobby of writing and I discovered so much more about my own self.
In this journey of liberation, according to my peers, I haven't achieved anything quantifiable. My blog is still in tatters. But I know that I have realised my dream of, 'Mah lyf...mah rulezz.' in true sense. I live it every single day and that makes me a happy person inside out.
“This post is a part of ‘DECADE Blog Hop’ #DecadeHop organized by #RRxMM Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul. The Event is sponsored by Glo and co-sponsored by Beyond The Box, Wedding Clap, The Colaba Store and Sanity Daily in association with authors Piyusha Vir and Richa S Mukherjee”