3 years back, when I was 5 months pregnant, Kaftans became my best friends. I used to sleep, cook, walk and even shop from the society vendor in the same dress. I experimented with many looks but nothing was as comfortable as kaftan with that big baby bump! I was always at the receiving end of stares from the aunties in neighbourhood and security guards, who thought that I wasn’t dressed properly to step out from my home. Frankly speaking, back then it never bothered me because that was the only way, me and my baby bump were comfortable.
After delivering my baby, I still looked 3 months pregnant. I switched to pyjamas and since then, they have continued to hang on me from January to December, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day, except the loo time! I used to tie a messy bun, put on a shrug and moved out to buy groceries. I was always unkempt and I knew that. Blame the postpartum, new responsibilities or fatigue of managing a colic baby, I never had time to pay attention to my looks.
So once my baby was almost a year old in 2017, I took a new year resolution ‘To deck up before pack up from bed’. For a few days, I made conscious efforts towards combing my hair once out of bed and putting on basic kajal, bb cream and lip gloss after a bath. But soon I realised that it doesn’t come easy. Once, I was applying kajal when my son slipped with the lipstick. I chased him and stumbled on a Lego. Sat down to soothe that poor little toe which gets hurt the most. Got water for myself and realised that it’s time to feed the baby. I fed the baby, put him to sleep, arranged the house and clothes, cooked lunch and made a list of groceries. In the evening I strapped my son in his stroller and went to the supermarket in the same pyjamas and messy bun because, I didn’t have the time! However, I was glad that I had managed to apply 12hr Smudge proof kajal in the morning. It was only after an ugly confrontation with myself in the slim mirror between the shelves, I realised that my right eye had been waiting to be lined dark. #FacePalm. I was better off without a kajal.
I was still trying to come to terms with this blooper when my eyes chanced upon the yummy mommy next door. She had clearly spotted me amongst the swarm of people. I turned a blind eye to her and slipped into another section. Little did I know that I would find her there before me! We briskly exchanged greetings before wrapping up the shopping. Trust me, I had to shop more but I was in no mood to walk down with that lady. The 5’ 8” tall lady in me never felt so little and discomposed before. The moment I got back home, I jumped in front of the full-length dressing table mirror and realised – ‘If only I had done this before leaving the house!’
So ladies, this new year I took a resolution to – “Take a second to look at myself in the mirror before I start the day or leave the house.” I realised that the pyjamas didn’t make me as uncomfortable as the half applied kohl did. It is not important to step out of home with smokey eyes and the countour well done. Not all LV bags grab eyeballs and not all Gucci shoes turn people green. It is only your confidence that leaves an everlasting mark on others. And who doesn’t want that!! So next time you are moving out of your home, pause your fast-paced life for a moment and have a look at yourself from top to toe. If you think you are fine and comfortable in the pjs, then move on and if not then please change into something that makes you confident. So now, I move out in the same pyjamas with hair well done and a lil kohl and I feel no less. I can confidently glide through the society hoping to chance upon a familiar face. And I personally know people who look straight out of bed and yet brim with confidence because they are comfortable in their own skin. I also know people who cannot even think of facing others without the hair spray or the makeup. For some just the right shoes matter, or the right hairdo or a nice blazer, or just nothing at all. They can move out in rugged jeans and a borrowed t-shirt and yet slay the world.
What is important is that you should be in terms with your own self. You should be aware of what you look like and should not end up stealing glances at your acquaintance in public places. You should not end up hiding behind the shelves in supermarkets or rushing to the loo in restaurants to avoid those familiar faces.
Trust me, the world won’t end if you spare those 2 minutes adoring yourself in front of the mirror. Your hubby can wait for 5 more minutes in the car honking at the door, your shopping can wait, your tummy can bear 5 minutes of extra hunger and even your kids will grow up to wait. What will not wait is the time and the moment you lost in the guilt of not looking good. This guilt will become a part of your personality and overshadow your confidence big time. Figure out what’s that one thing that matters to you the most and boosts up your confidence.