In today’s fast paced world, children are being beaten by the cudgels of competition. Even parents are trapped in peer pressures. Instead of motivating their kids, they are forcing them to excel in every field. Parents are not ready to accept defeat of their kids and hence, even kids never learn to embrace the failures and walk over them. I recently came across this wonderful ad by HP, where the mom sets an example of Mary Kom for her daughter. The lady who lost the last match in Olympics and quoted “I will work harder and comeback stronger than ever.” And she did it. So, motivation and not pressure, is the key to success.
Check out the video here!
Here are 5 ways you can motivate your child and help them achieve the stars!
1. Convince yourself and remain positive: Before motivating your child, convince yourself that your child will excel in the chosen path. Dismiss all the fears and self-doubts. Be absolutely sure of your child’s capabilities. Your child can easily read through your eyes and the moment he sees doubt and fear in them, he is likely to lose his confidence. Be confident and firm like a rock to imbibe the same in your child. As someone rightly said – “May your character preach more loudly than your words.” That’s how you can spread the vibe.
2. Take interest in his/her interests: If your child has stepped into your shoes and is walking along your interests, then nothing like it! If not, then learn about his/her passions. Study, read and simply delve into them. Own them and be enthusiastic while discussing the passions with your child. It will convey your love and care to your child and boost their morale too. Your kids will be assured that you are with them and they won’t hesitate a bit to discuss any problem with you.
3. Don’t participate to just win the competition: I have heard a lot of cases where kids believe that they are not fully prepared for a competition and even parents believe that it is better to ‘participate with full preparation the next time’. Always remember that ‘Experience is the best source of knowledge’. Don’t participate with the sole aim of winning. You win or lose; the experience will definitely give you something to learn. And who knows, other participants might not be half as prepared as you! “I am fully prepared” is a very subjective phrase. You never know what full preparation looks like. There is always something you could do better, learn better and portray better. So, grab every opportunity that knocks your door and make your child pull the best out of it. It is you who can inculcate the value and importance of participation in your child. Get them into a habit of participation from an early age and eventually you will witness them winning every competition.
4. Don’t find flaws in his/her practice: There is a thin line difference between a nitpicker and a critique, and you know which one to choose! Don’t just tell your children about their flaws. Help them overcome the same. It is important to bring their flaws to light, but it is also important to do it in a manner that doesn’t demotivate them. Instead of making them depressed about their flaws, it is important to tell them, how they would be moving closer to the goal after overcoming the flaws. So, discuss their shortcomings in a closed personal space over a cup of coffee or their favorite ice-cream. Talk it out casually saying – “You dance really well. In fact, I loved the 1st move you made. But if you point your toes firmly, your performance will look crisp.”
5. Celebrate failures too: Make your kids believe in the fact that ‘Failure is a prerequisite for great success.’ #Period! You should never cry or shout out on your kid when he slips. Not holding a position of merit, doesn’t mean failure. Clap when he participates, appreciate his efforts and finally party over it. Celebration doesn’t mean a pompous party. It can be as simple as a chocolate or a long drive. A drive where you allow your kid to spill the beans. Learn about his/her feelings, interject and correct his/her perspective. End it all with his favorite video game or a treat in his favorite ice-cream parlor.
Finally, as parents you know the best way to handle your kid. Something that works for me, might not work for you. But one thing that works with all the parents is an open communication channel. A seamless channel that allows your kids to confide in you. Harness that channel and work out the best strategies to motivate your child. Share your motivation mantra in the comments and help your tribe to motivate their kids.